you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
