Buhtt sex?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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