i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
