It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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