batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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