I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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