ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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