well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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