You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
