Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
