His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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