There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
