I am puke
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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