I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
