Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
