Tell her she can't have a vagina
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
