You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
