best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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