Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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