Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
