i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
