Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
