just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
