drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
