Farmville is her only friend.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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