yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
