how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
