There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
