Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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