Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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