I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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