If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
