She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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