I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
