Sry I called you an 8
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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