Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
