How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
