I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
