do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
