3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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