then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
