You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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