He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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