they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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