so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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