a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
