Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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