Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
