too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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