she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
