I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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