she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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