People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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