have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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