In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
