wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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